a n i m a t i o n . w o r d s & p i c t u r e s . f o r u m

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The Search For Sas

By: Scaly, Robball & Waldo
06.24.03

Gather round, my children, and you shall hear of the trials and tribulations of an adventuring group set out to find the elusive sasquatch. Our heroes, Puffy Omega, Swedish, and Poison Hat trekked through hell and high water, following traces of Bigfoot. Our adventure begins Along the road toward the woods, one of our buddy Sas' stomping grounds.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I'll sum this one up in 34. This is a tale of courage. A boy being born deaf, persuing his dream of playing basketball. The court is empty today, so we cannot say much more than that, so we move on.

Here we see a landmark that marks the beginning of the wilderness. Assnews, as it is named, has been tagged to this cement wall for well over one year. Almost illegible, it proclaims that the news is ass. The god, human or beast who wrote this was angry at the sour grapes of the media, because he or she did not own a television set.

Poison Hat, the company's leader with a slight overbite and a love for Land O Lakes margerine, is attempting to draw Sas out of hiding by throwing a stick with a metal tip toward Ness, the lady of the lake. This will undoubtedly enrage the beast and lure him out. Poison Hat is named thusly because he is like the group Foghat only more dangerous.

There are many other dangers in the woodlands aside from Sas. In this scene, a bear is spotted along the path, which causes much delay for the company, who now has to find an alternate route.

Set back by the bear, Poison Hat and Puffy Omega sit in what seems to be hopeless ponderance on how to continue. Puffy is the team's tactician and minister of fun. He enjoys hot lattes and child pornography.

Swedish, the cook and playwright, soon finds an ancient stairway around the silly bear. Walking with utmost caution, he looks closely for traps, which dot the area like nooks in a waffle. Deep down, Swedish never wanted to be an adventurer, but his destiny was forced upon him by his mother who kicked him out of her basement o find a job.

Back on the right track.

Swedish Notes a large, sasquatch-like cave in a large rock atop a hill. Could this be the place???

This is it, the creature's lair! Poison Hat knocks twice, and out comes Sas, who offers some biscuits, which are readily accepted. The group and Sas have a merry time eating and talking of the weather. That is, until, Swedish takes the last hotcake.

Sas not only walks, but also fights like an Egyptian, connecting with a blow to Swedish's throat.

Sas should have known not to fuck with a level 20 monk who loves hotcakes. Swedish returns with a mighty blow to the chin, knocking Sas from this plane of existence. The journey is complete, and the troupe begins the long journey home.

Though the day ends happily for the party, the same cannot be said for Mr. Potatohead. After fading from pop culture in the 90s, Mr. P. took to drugs and alcohol, which got the better of him in the long run.

WINNERS DON'T USE DRUGS

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