I am so fucking pissed off right now

So there's this movie called The Santa Clause, right? There are three of them. The first one Santa dies and Tim Allen takes his place. The second one Tim Allen gets married, because Santa has to have a wife. You'd think this movie would be following a pattern here and the third one would be the one where Santa is forced to have a child. No. Instead he fights Martin Short. Tim Allen fucking fights Martin Short. This is The Santa Claus 3

I was actually writing a screenplay for The Santa Claus 3. After the second one, I was basing it on the idea that after he'd get married he'd be forced to have a kid or be fired. But because its kinda forced on him and he doesn't have a choice, his wife has an imaculate conception and Tim Allen gets all pissed off at his wife and beats her because he never had sex with her (he can't, its a Santa rule) and she's pregnant which would mean that she had sex with somebody that wasn't him, but there's a CLAUSE that says this is supposed to happen and he can't be mad or punch his wife in the stomach because its part of the code of Santa. So Santa's wife finally gives birth and the baby is BLACK. So now Tim Allen is really pissed off because he thinks his wife cheated on him with a nigger, but through scientific study they discover their tar baby is actually in fact Jesus Christ because, you know, the Discovery channel or National Geographic or whatever through careful scientific study concluded that Jesus was black.

This is what the Santa Clause 3 was supposed to be. Not about fucking Tim Allen fighting goddamn Martin Short. What bullshit. I'm so pissed off at christmas right now. Fucking goddamn martin short. >:( way to ruin christmas disney, you jew fags.

[3.126]

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[Multra]

"can someone tell gyconoclast that in the santa claus movies he already HAD a kid, played by eric lloyd so his premise wouldnt have made sense.

i would tell him myself but i cant post in plat."

--Kieran

[ripsy]

Trust me Guycono, the Jew run media wouldn't want anything to do with your shitty film. We'd rather spend our money on something that will bring us more money, not something that we wouldn't force Adolph Hitler to watch. But, sorry your dad beat you and now you hate niggers and Christmas.

Originally Posted by Multra "can someone tell gyconoclast that in the santa claus movies he already HAD a kid, played by eric lloyd so his premise wouldnt have made sense. i would tell him myself but i cant post in plat." --Kieran

yeah it would. all you gotta do is write a part where has to kill his kid because this child is not part of the Santa lineage and thus considered an 'impurity' and must be disposed of properly so his existance does not besmirch the image of Santa Claus. Basically reality conflicting with Santa canon, and if it isn't fixed then Tim Allen loses his powers! See, this shit practically writes itself.

Originally Posted by ripsy Trust me Guycono

You ask the impossible

Originally Posted by ripsy We'd rather spend SOMEONE ELSE'S money on something SHITTY that will bring us more money BECAUSE WE ARE WALLET VAMPIRES WHO DELIGHT IN SINKING OUR TEETH INTO THINGS THAT TASTE LIKE GOLD EVEN IF THEY'RE ONLY MADE OUT OF PAPER

go fuck yourself you kabbalah reading nigger loving kike. Why don't you go churn out another drug addict 'pop' idol kabbalah convert like a good idiotic revisionist sell out power drunken gold humping faggot. Fucking sycophantic vampires

[twinke boi]

Jon Lovitz fought Andy Dick in real life so that kinda beats any fighting of Tim Allen and Martin Short as Christmas related characters.

[3.126]

tom green also fought andy dick

[Ace]

guyconoclast i left you a christmas present under your avatar

[ripsy]

Gyno, you don't even know what Kabbalah is. So you can't offend me with that. I have no interest in Jewish mysticism. But, I'll give you a C+ for effort because I am impressed that you used the word Sycophant.

Originally Posted by Ace guyconoclast i left you a christmas present under your avatar

GODDAMNIT THAT MAKES ME EVEN MORE PISSED OFF

Originally Posted by ripsy Gyno, you don't even know what Kabbalah is. So you can't offend me with that. I have no interest in Jewish mysticism. But, I'll give you a C+ for effort because I am impressed that you used the word Sycophant.

I know exactly what kabbalah is... I'll even use The Santa Clause as an example:

*ahem*

OMG I GET IT! Tim Allen is a former drug addict who took cocaine. Another word for cocaine is SNOW. And reason those stupid greedy jews made him Santa Claus because there's LOTS OF SNOW AT THE NORTH POLE! OMG! THE POLE IS USED AS A NOSE TRUMPET! And what's this? Tim Allen was busted for posession of crack cocaine. Crack rocks are called ICE! THERE'S ICE AT THE NORTH POLE TOO!!!1 HOLY SHITTTTtttttTT%!!!!!! THE JEWS WORSHIP DRUGS AND ARE TRYING TO RUIN CHRISTMAS

and WTF are Jews making Christmas movies for anyway? Don't they worship a day's worth of lamp oil spread out over eight days of useage? Oh right, the worshipping money thing and calling their money 'shackles' BECAUSE THEY'RE SLAVES TO THEIR OWN GREED

[a moose lol]

who cares why would you make a thread aboutthis

Oh geez, I dunno, maybe because I CARE and I would make a thread about it because SC3 makes me ANGRY AS FUCK

Originally Posted by Ace guyconoclast i left you a christmas present under your avatar

no i'm being serious I don't like this gift and you probably wouldn't have done that unless you knew it would irritate me more

[Prometheus]

hey guyconoclast is that crab squeezing an orange in your avatar?

it might be