Biogod... or Biocock?
From the makers of FPS smash hits Thief 3, Deus Ex and Deus Ex 2: Invisible War comes the most anticipated next-gen AAA title of the decade. A lot has been promised by the ambitious developers, but... Does the game deliver? Long answer: kind of. Short answer: NO.
There are many things to like about Bioshock such as the graphics (not animation), creative monster design, stunning pre-rendered cutscenes and the water effects. That’s about where the good stuff ends.
This... Is... RAPTURE...!!!
The game begins with you, a government agent, on a top-secret mission to infiltrate the aquatic libertarian paradise Rapture. Your goal: to destroy the horrific doomsday device hidden within. Sounds good so far? Think again, soon the player character begins to embrace the objectivist worldview. Keep in mind that the game, being VERY linear, gives you no choice in this matter.
The first boss of the game - fat guy in a diving suit. Also pictured: the bullshit pussy stat-respeccing booth, brought to you by dumb pussy mainstream gamer babies.
Not only is the character development extremely hamfisted, I find this to be disgusting propaganda. Even though I agree with some libertarian policies (legalizing drugs, deporting illegals), I don't play games to think about politics, I play them to shoot shit and have a great time. If you're willing to overlook this, though, you'll find a great game behind the obnoxious preaching.
The Bioggest "Shock": this game sucks.
Lets move on to the gameplay... The worst part of the game. First, let me say how excited I was for the game after playing the demo on the 360. While the animation seemed stiff and you could tell the 360 was being pushed too hard it still looked like it had a lot of potential.
Monster design is one of Bioshock's strongest points. Too bad you can only see one enemy on the screen at a time because of poor engine optimization...
So imagine my disappointment when I got the final version only to find none of the animation hitches, shooting glitches and AI was cleaned up. I also wonder how much better the graphics would’ve been had they not been compressed to fit on a DVD. Now, I do not fault the developers for this, they only had so much system power to work with. Maybe this will all be addressed with the PS3 version when it comes out.
The glorious pre-rendered CGI cutscenes are truly a sight to behold... But in the end they add nothing relevant to the game. If only the developers had spent the time and money on testing the gameplay instead.
On the PC, it is exactly the same story. Seems to me the devs got lazy and decided to just copy and paste the code from the 360 version. My top of the line gaming rig CRASHED constantly on the best graphical settings. I was able to tone it down and get it to chug along at 12 fps. This is just inexcusable.
All in all, Bioshock is a great game marred by it's horrible coding, presentation and design. My advice? Put this baby back in the oven for awhile; and wait for the FINISHED version on the PS3... Cleaned up textures, animations, AI, extra weapons and levels, Home space, standard HDD and Blu-ray will make this flawed game into a perfect gem.
Not only does the PC Bioshock look like ancient ass, it comes with FREE spyware as well. Thanks Microsuck!
So if you bought this game on launch, sorry pal, you got hosed. If, on the other hand, you were patient enough (like me) to wait, you can wait a bit longer. Get the finished version of the game for the PS3 in 2009.
GUNS GUNS GUNS
Given the ambitious design of the game, you'd think the weapons in Bioshock would be something extraordinary. Think again! Get ready for another visit from your good friends the Weak Starter Pistol, the Fast But Inaccurate Machine gun and the Goddamn Shotgun Part One Million. What is this, 1994? No, it's the year 2007 and this kind of bull crap is simply unforgivable
HYPE vs REALITY
What was promised to us and what we actually got...
HYPE: Bioshock designer and director Warren Spector promised a truly mature game mechanic, in which you could steal child prostitutes, called Little Sisters, from their pimps, the Big Daddies. You could set up your own prostitution ring in order to collect in-game currency, "Phazon", from the enemies. Or, you could set the little children free for a resource called "Light Points." Sounds too good to be true? Well...
REALITY: Heh, like a game in this country could ever offer REAL moral choices and mature themes... First Manhunt 2 was banned for its graphic rape scenes, and now another game with great potential to bring Gaming to the 21st century gets hamstringed by the ESRB. The Little Sisters are now INVINCIBLE to your weapons, and the Big Daddies are boring mid-boss enemies. Free artistic expression in america??? Hahahaha.